Friday, November 28, 2008

Classifieds

PUBLIC NOTICE: During the last fifty years or so, I have “loaned” favorite books, vinyl records, cassette and video tapes, CDs, DVDs, and a wonderful collection of nudist magazines to a shitload of my “dearest friends.” Never mind that I have no idea who those dearest friends were, nor do I have the faintest idea what I loaned them. All I remember for sure is that each and every one of them said, “I promise that I’ll return this in a couple of weeks.” Yeah, well, your time is up, dearest assholes: I want my stuff back in a couple of weeks. Inquire within.

15 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

Including that pair of socks?

Charlie said...

Socks! Now I remember! The ones that stood upright in the corner when I took them off!

You can keep 'em, Kim: I have another pair. But thanks anyway.

Mary Witzl said...

Eek! For one awful minute I thought I might be one of those friends, but no -- I just owe a couple of books to other people. Hope they're not pissed off with me...

I used to have some bookplates that said 'Please treat me well and see me safely home'. I'd send them to you if I still had them, but this might be locking the barn door after the horse, etc.

Charlie said...

MARY: Thank you for the offer of the bookplates you no longer have. Could it be that you loaned them to someone?

Mary Witzl said...

Charlie, I've just checked out your profile and please tell me you don't really like Lawrence Welk! DO you, or did you just throw that out there to see if anyone would really read your profile? We'll still be friends if you're a LW fan, but it'll take me a little time to get used to it...

Charlie said...

MARY: 'Tis all a joke, except for Evanescence—I think Amy Lee has the greatest voice ever.

Koolio said...

Don't you hate that shit, Charlie?! Especially when we're so good about returning things to people, we expect the same from others.

I remember I loaned a cassette to a gal in college only to be told by my roommate after the fact, that the girl never returns anything! Needless to say, I never did see the cassette again and it's not so much the cassette that bothers me as it seems this gal has made a lifetime of making other peoples' possessions her own. I wouldn't be surprised if she has a rap sheet a mile long from all her thefts, lol.

Charlie said...

KOOLIO: That's what you get for going to college.

Katrina said...

I'm terribly sorry, Charlie, but you're not getting any of your loans back. Ever.

You've loaned me your shoulder and your ear and your thoughts with a side of a piece of your mind and your laughter.

Frankly, I wish I could borrow more of that in higher frequencies.

Mary Witzl said...

(Well thank God!)

A one and a two...Sheesh. And remember all those champagne bubbles?

Charlie said...

KATRINA: Anything that I have given you (and vice versa) have been gifts—not ever loans.

Unless, that is, you're the one who "borrowed" my nudist magazines . . .

Attila The Mom said...

Do those magazines have nuclear yellow prongs in them? If so, I think Koolio has them.

Charlie said...

MOM: I just knew when I used the anatomical term "Prong" that you would go apeshit. You follow about 600 blogs, but you managed to find Prong right off the bat (har).

The bad news is that M. is pissed about me dumping MiracleGro all over her good bedsheets.

Attila The Mom said...

...but at least she won't misplace you in the dark. ;-)

P.S. I've been reading your book list. I discovered Denise Mina this year myself. Fabulous writer, isn't she?

Charlie said...

MOM AGAIN: Mina's Garnethill trilogy is absolutely wonderful and so very complex, but Deception was Americanized language-wise and I thought it boring. I have only read The Dead Hour in her second trilogy and it's the middle book, but it's quite good too.