Friday, February 06, 2009

Masters of Understatement



Do YOU happen to know a knucklehead, a numbnut, or a dumb-as-a-doorknob indvidual who has the really irritating habit of stating the obvious? If so, tell us your story.

Okay, since you insist, I'll go first. After sitting on the freeway for forty-five minutes without moving one inch and with the engine turned off, I turned to Martha and said with all seriosity, "Gee, there must be an accident up ahead." Yes, friends, I am occasionally numbnutted.

But Martha isn't blameless either. Every time she turns on a lamp with a burned out lightbulb she mumbles, "Huh, the lightbulb must have burned out." And then she walks away.

24 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

Looks like no one else has commented here

Kim Ayres said...

Looks like I'm the only one who's commented here

Kim Ayres said...

I reckon this will be my third comment in a row

Charlie said...

Poor Maggie.

Mary Witzl said...

Hey, I haven't commented on this yet!

Mary Witzl said...

Walking away from burnt-out lightbulbs is one of the perks of being female, just like not being able to see the pickles in the fridge is a perk of being male.

I know that's sexist. Sometimes I just want to be non-PC, so please indulge me.

Mary Witzl said...

When are you going to come and collect your award? I gave you one last week and I don't think you've noticed it...

(Feel free to ignore it if you didn't want it in the first place!)

Attila The Mom said...

Sometimes I wonder if Martha is a man.

LOL

Charlie said...

MARY: There are a lot of things in our fridge I don't want to see. So there--we're both sexist and non-PC.

An award? Is it money? I'll be right over to get it.

MOM: Martha couldn't possibly be male: she leaves the toilet seat down. (I know we've been through this before, at length.)

Kim Ayres said...

Well waddayaknow? Looks like other people have commented here too!

Charlie said...

Poor Maggie.

Mary Witzl said...

Wish it were money, Charlie. Except if it were, I'd probably want to keep it.

My husband's looking very morose. We've just taken a stray cat to the vet for emergency treatment (hit and badly injured by some *"£$-ing X$%£ard who was speeding and didn't even stop). There goes the pittance we might otherwise have saved this month.

Lisa said...

Mary, I don't know you, but judging from your last post... your place in heaven is assured. What goes around comes around is pretty accurate in my eyes and the driver of that car will get theirs someday.

Charlie said...

MARY: I HATE to hear about injured animals and careless assholes, but thankfully there are people like you and Mr. Mary.

If the vet can do nothing for the poor thing, at least he can put it down mercifully.

LISA: I don't think I know you, but amen to what you said.

Lisa said...

Charlie: I'm an acquaintance and reader of Dog Tired's blog. She had a link to your blog one time and when I clicked over, I found the link to Attila the Mom's infamous "Spanx" post. After I picked myself up off of the floor, I bookmarked your page and starting checking in periodically. I volunteer with a humane society and had my first foster dog, who is now going to become a permanent member of the family. Anyway, I hope that it's ok if I commented. Bad grammar and all.

Lisa said...

And also very off topic!! Sorry!!
For the record, I change all of the lightbulbs in this house. Even the ones in the garage! We would live in the dark if I waited for my man to do it!

Kim Ayres said...

well lookee here, people are still commenting!

Charlie said...

LISA: Thanks for introducing yourself, and you're more than welcome to visit and comment! If people didn't stop by I'd end up with one irritating commenter named Kim Ayres.

And thanks too for being a foster mom: like Dog Tired, I'd want to keep every critter who came in the door. It was through a rescue/foster group that we got our great little dog "Irish".

Kim Ayres is English, but he lives in Scotland.

And as far as the lightbulbs go, Martha changed one once, so I shouldn't be so hard on her.

KIM: Poor, poor Maggie. Does she ever complain about raising three children?

BTW, I was talking about you here a little while ago.

Meg said...

I'm the Queen of Obvious Questions. Example: while watching Old Yeller - the part where the boy shoots the dog "So you mean Old Yeller's dead? Really?"

Charlie said...

MEG: Darn it, you just made me cry all over again thinking about Old Yeller.

So, at the end of Titanic, did you ask, "So you mean the ship sank? Really?"

Ché l'écossais said...

I used to have a friend who would enlighten us as to the identity of every major hollywood star who walked onscreen.

He also had a line in explaining the plot of the film in real-time, as it unfolded in front of our eyes.

Unless he'd already seen it, in which case he'd describe every scene 15 seconds before it happened.

He wasn't even trying to be funny.

Like I said, I USED to have a friend...

Charlie said...

CHE: I suspect that your friend met with an untimely accident of some sort--like falling out of the theatre balcony.

Tiffin said...

Whenever anyone in our family dropped something on the floor with a huge crash, smash or kabang, my dad would say, "It's on the floor." I've carried on the tradition with my family. When I see how po'd the recipient gets, I realise how much my dad must have cracked himself up over the years.
Tui

Charlie said...

TUI: I'm sure your dad's comment po'd people because they were already po'd about dropping whatever it was in the first place.

It's nice to know, though, that he had fun with it.