Friday, October 09, 2009

Please Read!

Dear Blogites,

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have fallen behind on your blogs as well as the comments you have made on mine.

Specifically, I am having some tests done for Dr. Lung, my lung doctor.

Specifically, I tripped over my oxygen line, causing me to stub my toe (the one next to my big toe on my right clod), causing the toenail to come 9/10s off, causing Surgeon General Martha to cut off the other 1/10 which hurt like hell, causing me to limp around with my toe wrapped up in gauze.

Specifically, I will be having another tooth extraction this afternoon in 3 hours, 5 minutes, and 18 seconds. But who's counting.

Since I appear to be a glutton for pain, and taking the specifics into consideration, I believe I will rest this weekend in my burlap jammies.

"Do not despair, Tribe of Blogites, for I shall returneth on the seventh day (or the eighth day, which will be Monday), and catcheth up on all things Bloggerly." (1T 1:23) (First Book of Testicles, Chapter 1, Verse 23)

If you need something to read, I suggest my review of Nora Roberts.

UPDATE, 5:15 P.M.

Not one extraction, but two. The second one was a bitch. Now I am on dry socket watch—or maybe the nice dentist said watch your socks dry.

"Do not complaineth, moaneth, nor whineth—elst thee shall be named Wussy." (1T 1:24)


savannah said...

awwww, sugar! you win this round! ;~D xoxox

take care and i'll see you when i see you, ok? *hugs*

Book Bird Dog said...

Lung, oxygen, toenail, teeth. Gosh, Professor, you need to take the whole month off! Take your time, as the Bloggites will still be here :)

Pat said...

Thinking of you especially as my big toe nails mean if have to go down hill on my heels at the moment. See you in a week.

Shellie (Layers of Thought) said...

Oh Charlie - you poor soul.
Forget the burlap jammies how about some soft cotton. Beg the doctor for codeine and load up.... life's too short for any sort of pain.
BTW John is almost done with that book The Shimmer - I will send it to you. Let me know?

Wandering Coyote said...

Jesus - what a mess! Heal quickly and come back when you're ready.

Tiffin said...

You've done yourself in literally from head to toe, Perfessor. Geesh. The dry socket thing makes me shudder. The toe nail thing made my knees feel all jellyish. Can Martha build you a ceiling track so you can just wheel around the house on a rope and harness?

Jimmy Bastard said...

Sounds like a flimsy wee excuse of tae much whisky, no enough water.... Heal soon oul friend.

Kim Ayres said...

I think it's a good time to consider circumcision - all other pains then pale into insignificance

koonsmother said...

Remember the Dick Van Dyke episode where he went skiing over his wife's objections, and then tried to sneak into the house all bandaged up and limping, hoping she wouldn't notice that he DID hurt himself, just as she predicted??? It all fell apart when she tried to hug him... Well, that was funny. So THAT's what I'm laughing about. Honest.

Kevin Musgrove said...

The youth of today: what some people will do for cheap thrills...

Take care of yourself lad.

Meg said...

Hope you get feeling better.

Tiffin said...

Charlie, Jimmy Bastard has a brilliant piece over on his blog. It will make your toe feel a lot better.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Dry socks are always a good idea, but I wish you could come and have some turkey with us instead. I could always put it in the blender for you. Chin up, bud!

Stinkypaw said...

Poor thing, I hope by this time you're doing much better and hope to see you around sometime soon. Take care of yourself (or let Martha do it - don't fight her!)

Charlie said...

SAVANNAH I can always use your sugar, Savvy. Thanks.

HARVEE: A month off? I couldn't stand me for that long.

PAT: No disrespect, Pat, but that must look a bit odd.

SHELLIE: The Doc gave me Percocet, but I didn't need any. And I'll contact you by email.

WC: I've thought all along that you knew I was a mess and the reason you like me.

TIFFIN: I'd rather have Mr. Tiffin build it when he's done with the new potty.

JIMMY: It's so good to see you're up.

I think it was too much water and not any whisky—I never hurt myself when I was sloshed or, if I did, I didn't notice it.

Charlie said...

KIM: Perhaps you're right. I'll have it done a second time just to make sure it worked the first time.

KM: Keep those Dick Van Dyke reruns handy so the next time I hurt myself you can have a real roarfest. Honestly.

KEVIN: Cheap thrills around here cost an arm and a leg. Oops, did I just say that?

MEG: I am feeling better, Megathon—thanks.

TUI: Yes, I read it, and it's indeed incredible. Thanks for the heads up.

BARBARA: Pureed turkey at the Zombie abode sounds great! Since it's all gone by now, I'll have Martha look for it in the baby food section.

STINKY: Don't worry, I bug the hell out of Martha: "I need this, I need that, will you get me . . ." There's no way I can fight her because she'd beat the hell out of me.

Michael said...

Teeth are great, except when they are not. I was driving a 10-hour stretch this past weekend, and about 2/3 the way through, I unwrapped a granola bar and bit in, only to hear (and feel) the crack that announced that all was not well in Toothville. The rest of the drive was not as pleasant as it should have been.