Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Think About It

  1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.

  3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

  4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

  5. A day without sunshine is, well, night.

  6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

  7. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

  8. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

  9. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

  10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

[Thanks to my friend Joyce for passing these on to me.]


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Profound truths, all of them!

Kim Ayres said...

In a few of Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, it's understood to be a well known fact that million to one chances happen nine times out of ten.

The problem, of course is getting the calculation right, because a million and two chance to one will never happen...

Jimmy Bastard said...

Uncannily accurate sir, especially the first one.

Robert the Skeptic said...

This one always seems poignant in my life:

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

Charlie said...

BARBARA: They are profound, aren't they. For some reason, I picture you as having trouble with #9. Or maybe I'm thinking of everyone.

KIM: Ah yes, but lotteries and raffles will happen ten out of ten times.

JIMMY: That is why I say very little—of substance, that is. I can bullshit, though, until the sows come home.

ROBERT: Somewhat skeptical, isn't it. I believe that is one of Murphy's corollaries.

savannah said...

Yes. xoxoxo

(thank you, sugar!)

Pat said...

#8 and #9 resonate with me.

Mary Witzl said...

1 and 3 are absolutely me. And 9 too: my shin bones are especially good furniture finders.

Wandering Coyote said...

Wise words to live by! Thank you!

Stinkypaw said...

Shin bone, so true and also during my years of karate for finding elbows and other shins!

Fay's Too said...

I'll bet you don't stop to think do you? That thinking is on the go. Wise man.

Charlie said...

SAVANNAH: You are indeed running out of words, but I'll still take the hugs, the air kisses, and the sweetness.

PAT: I wonder how many dead flashlight batteries are living in landfills.

And of course, shin bones.

MARY: Baloney about numbers 1 and 3. You're one of the brightest people I know.

I will, however, give you the shin bone thing.

WC: You're welcome--I'm sure you couldn't have survived without them (wink wink).

STINKY: I think toes should have been included too.

FAY: Wiseguy fits me much better than wise man--just ask all the people who don't like me.

Alice said...

Stupid soda machine didn't give me my change today. Still bitter.

Charlie said...

ALICE: I have long suspected that vending machines have a mind of their own.

I never get bitter about it, though. I'm more of the shake, kick, and cuss type.