Saturday, January 23, 2010

The S.O.B. and Summer

I remember the first time I went into the hospital for breathing problems and the manila folder lying on the tray table beside me. Manila folders are the lifeblood of a hospital, and this one accompanied me from the emergency room. Snoop Brother that I am, I just had to look in it to see what was going on with MY lifeblood. Handwritten on the folder’s tab was simply this: “S.O.B.”

“Boy, these people are good—less than three hours and they already have me diagnosed as a sonofabitch!” I thought, wondering what kind of regimen they have for S.O.B.-ness.

Wrong. S.O.B. is a medical acronym for “shortness of breath.”

So what’s the point of this story? There isn’t one; I just happen to like it. And to own up to the fact that I really am a sonofabitch for teasing you with these photos from Tui’s garden last summer. Tui is the lady who lives in North Cowpat, Ontario, but with her Scottish ancestry, a garden is much more than a dead geranium in a hanging basket on the patio.

(click photo)

(click photo)

Check out her spectacular slideshow, Garden in Early June, while I give my dead geranium some water. There's always hope that my black thumb will turn green.



Pat said...

I think we have been granted the right to read our hospital notes now but I'm not sure I would want to.
I love the garden photos and the link ones. Thank goodness we can record the seasons on our computers. When I look out at the present barren waste of the garden I have to watch my moving screen saver to remember there will be flowers in spring. There will be won't there?

Peter S. said...

Sonofab---h! These are wonderful pictures! Such a lovely garden.

Diane said...

Lovely garden photos. I especially like the bearded irises as they were my mom's favorite. she had all different colors of them in her garden.

Tiffin said...

Now that was a surprise...I thought "hey, I know those flowers". It's frozen death out there right now. Come on April!


Kim Ayres said...

So they never found a cure for SOB-ness then, nor your breath...

St Jude said...

I wonder how many SOBs they get through their doors?

That garden is wonderful, what an oasis.

Wandering Coyote said...

Haha! That is JUST the kind of thing you would find funny and take pride in! I love it!

Tui, your garden is amazing!

savannah said...

what a gorgeous garden she has, sugar! i've decided that my yard looks so horrible because we had freezing weather! and if that doesn't work, it's because we're going to build an addition to the house...yeah, that's my story and i'm stickin to it! xoxoxoox

Kevin Musgrove said...

Excellent photos, ta for the link.

My two favourite medical acronyms currently are GH: Gobby Hypochondriac and NFN: Normal For Norfolk

laytonwoman3rd said...

I read a lot of medical charts in the course of my work. The acronym that had me stumped for the longest time was FAB. It appears in the nursing notes a lot. Usually at the end of an entry, and without apparent connection to anything that came before. "Patient resting comfortably. FAB" "Patient declined pain medication. FAB" "Dressing changed per Dr.'s orders. FAB." Some nurse on a quiet shift finally took the time to write it out; it isn't medical at all. It simply means "Family at bedside."

Robert the Skeptic said...

Relieved to hear your charts are up to date with your most recent condition. I am sure if I looked in mine it would be corrected noted that I suffer from Asthma Sinus Syndrome.

kara said...

i always thought SOB stood for "side o' bacon". don't tell me i'm wrong.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I used to live just down the road from North Cowpat! We grew the best tomatoes there. sigh

The offspring had to get some bloodwork done recently, and the university clinic she attended actually sent her the results, which I think is greatly empowering and really allows you to understand your own health. I could never understand why our own health charts were always off limits.

Buzzard said...

I recently spent a considerable amount of time in the hospital. Our floor was known as the "Cabbage" patients or CABG, Coronary Artery Bypass Graft) I have been writing about the humorous side of the health issue for the last month on my blog. Love following yours. Be will! (thebuzzardsloft on blogspot) Buzzard.

Charlie said...

I think we all agree that Tui's garden is beautiful and appreciate the work that goes into it, so I'll just respond to other matters [slash] nonsense.

PAT: We are allowed to view our medical records in the US (acronym for United States), but you have to have the ability to read (and understand) gobbledygook and doctors' handwriting.

TUI: So you think it's funny that I'm an SOB?

KIM: Tragically, there is no cure for SOB-ness. As for my breath, I brush and floss my one tooth every few days, so it shouldn't be too bad. Thanks for asking.

Charlie said...

ST JUDE: I imagine the hospital gets a lot of SOBs through their door. Especially males, who have a tendency to whine, piss, moan, and complain.

Like the "pillow" that's the size of a postage stamp. The leftover C rations from WWII they call food ...

WC: You are 100% correct. Can you imagine me if I was the warm-and-fuzzy type? Gag-a-rama.

SAVANNAH: Yes, I'm sure that you and MITM need an addition to the house. I believe you because I'm gullible.

KEVIN: GHs are the most boring people in the world, not to mention a drain on the medical system, and NFN must be a comment on the standard of non-care you don't receive.

LINDA: FAB is another one I haven't heard of, mainly because I seldom have FAB. Once Martha knows I'm going to live, she takes a vacation from me and plays bingo.

Charlie said...

ROBERT: Sorry about your ASS. At least it's not another short arm inspection or a colonoscopy.

KARA: Dad and daughter together. How sweet. I won't tell you that you're wrong, but in your case I think SOB means Sitting On Brian.

BARBARA: Was that Southeast Cowpat, where they have the feed store?

And are your health records still off limits? If they are, I suspect the medical community is afraid of malpractice suits—IF you were a smart enough civilian to figure it all out.

BUZZARD: Boy, do we have a shitload of those here in the desert!

Thanks for the compliment, and I'm going to spend some time on your blog.

I'm trying to picture a direction sign in the hospital that says, "Cabbage Ward" with an arrow pointing to it.

Why, oh why do I always get so behind on comment responses and then have to bust chops (BC) to catch up?

Ponita in Real Life said...

Being a nurse, I tend to see medical acronyms in vehicle license plates all the time.

SOB should stand for sonofabitch... there are a lot of people with that disorder, but I'm getting the impression you're not really one of them.

Thanks for the visit to my blog!