Monday, July 05, 2010

Charlie's Back

So, after nearly three weeks of fooling around and whatnot in hospitals, I come home to peace, quiet, and overwhelmation. Yes, I am overwhelmed by nearly two hundred comments from bloggers old and new, chock-full of wishes, hopes, and prayers for my recovery. How incredibly incredible. I cannot begin to describe how good that makes me feel: not because I’m an egotist, but because all of you have taken the time to think of me and leave a message or two.

There have been trials and tribulations during the past twenty-one days, but those are behind me. Rather, the focus is on the triumphs and going forward: a continuance of life with every breath and heartbeat, a continuance of life with Martha and the dogs, a continuance of life with you, my friends in Bloggerville. I have truly missed you all.

I cannot thank Wandering Coyote enough for her willingness to post updates while I was MIA. The job was thrust upon her and she accepted it without complaint, which could have been a real bummer if something dire had happened. Thanks, WC, for being such a great, unselfish friend.

Every life experience, either good, bad, or indifferent, is an opportunity to learn something new to add to our personal database of wisdom. I learned how to “roll over,” “fetch,” and “stay” a long time ago (I took lessons with our first dog), but I picked up a few life lessons this time around too.

The most amazing thing I learned is about bedpans, a medical device I had seen but never used before. When I told the nursing assistant that I needed to do number two (just like I used to tell Sister Mary Tarantula in third grade), I expected the assistant to scurry off for a steel pot from either the walk-in freezer in the kitchen or an uninhabited drawer in the morgue.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I was presented with an exact replica of a Rubbermaid plastic bin—rectangular, sturdy, temperature-friendly—but who takes a dump in a potato salad storage container?

As I sat atop the U.S.S. Salad Storage Container, listing from port to starboard and worried about bilge water and my inability to swim, I asked me, “Is this what my life has come down to, is this how it all ends?”

“Hell no!” I answered me as the final two lines of a favorite Robert Frost poem came to mind:

And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.


* * * * *

Regular programming will resume on this blog in a couple days. I am still very weak, however, and not completely out of the woods yet, but I'll be around to visit y'all.

38 comments:

Shellie - Layers of Thought said...

Yeah! Welcome Back! *hugs!*

Wandering Coyote said...

Yayyyyyyyy!! So glad to see you back posting, Charlie! And it was my pleasure to do that small task for you while you were MIA; it was not a big deal or inconvenience at all!

LOL at your Rubbermaid bed pan story and the title you gave the gadget! I can't believe it was rectangular though; that would not be comfy at all.

Stay strong, will you? Update when you can but don't exert yourself too much trying to blog!

Ponita in Real Life said...

So pleased to see that you are back in the Ether with us, Charlie!!!! Now get some rest and take care of yourself... The road to recovery is usually a long and winding one, but we're all here, patiently waiting. {{hugs!!!}} And hugs to Martha too! And to Wandering Coyote for keeping us up to snuff while you were off doing your bedpan research project. xoxo

Robert the Skeptic said...

Better to dump in the Rubbermaid than the Tupperware. -- Welcome back!!

Sharon Longworth said...

Charlie, not only back, but back in style - the USS Salad Storage container had me giggling. I'm enormously glad you're back at home - very best wishes for your continuing recovery.

Pat said...

Best news I've had all week. So glad you're back where you belong.
A motherly hug to both you and Martha.xoxoxox

Philip said...

Welcome back Charlie. It is quite simply a joy to hear from you.

Madame DeFarge said...

Woohoo and all that. Fab to see you back amongst us. I'd been missing my fave teacher. Apples will be brought forth. Take care.

Elaine said...

So glad you're back. I know that seems like a funny thing to say, because I didn't even know you had gone! This is my first time here and I'm a bit stuck...been here for about an hour, I think, and there is still so much for me to read.

You're an incredible writer, Charlie. (Can I call you Charlie?) You've written half of my history already and I'm sure I will find more. It's always great when someone manages to put into words the things I am incapable of.

(((hugs))))

mapstew said...

What a lot of fuss you caused! :¬)

Welcome back my friend, it's good to 'hear your voice' again! :¬)

Attila The Mom said...

Welcome back, my friend!

DJan said...

I had just joined you as a follower when all this happened, and now I am as happy as if an old acquaintance had recovered from an illness. Welcome back! I look forward to going forward with you.

TechnoBabe said...

Hi Ya Charlie!! Yippee!!! Hubby and I send you such big hugs and we are truly thankful to the big one in the sky that you are home and can recover and visit on the blog again. I am already laughing about the big vegetable bin experience.

Meg said...

Glad you're back, Charlie! Thanks for the info about bedpans. I'll tuck that away somewhere in case I ever need it. ;)

savannah said...

my comments seem to be disappearing, but i hope y'all see this! i am so glad y'all are back and at home, sugar! xoxoxoxo

Kim Ayres said...

You had me worried this time, Charlie. Though I think you probably had you worried too...

Did you get the card? Hoping I got the address right.

And many thanks once again to Wandering Coyote - it was invaluable getting those updates

Ivy Bliss said...

Charlie, I found your blog a couple days before you went in the hospital. I found it inspiring, as I read the blog that got me to you and the ones previous. As we are all friends on this journey, I was saddened to read in the next new entry that popped up that you were ill. I'm so glad you made a full recovery, and can't wait to hear (read) more from you. It amazes me over and over that we are the fighters, the survivors, and the ones who want to live more than anything.
Welcome back!
~Ivy

lisleman said...

good to hear from you - love your outlook on life.
all the best

laytonwoman3rd said...

WOOT!!!! *Happy dance* Oh, Charlie, it's fine to have you back among us. The world was definitely off-kilter there for a while. And I see that whatever they did to or for you, they haven't adjusted your unique outlook on life's indignities. Carry on. We'll keep following.

Tiffin said...

Good! Now I can breathe again. Missed you, you dear old thing you.

KleinsteMotte said...

Back YEAH!!! Now here in the green country porto potties are made of recycled cardboard and are only used once. Sitting on a paper product to do one's business can be just as unnerving! Yup WC was a great sport and support! Thanks WC!!

Eryl Shields said...

Very glad to read this even though we are only passing acquaintances.

The bedpans here are like egg boxes, for a single huge egg, with rather rough edges: nasty.

Angie's Lil' Nothings said...

Glad you are back...=) Thanks to WC for publishing updates!

I was a giggling mess with the rubbermaid comment. Glad to know what patients think when I place them on the plastic throne.

Michael Lockridge said...

like several of your other visitors I had found you just before you went to wrestle Death to a draw, with Death taking option for a rematch at an undisclosed (and hopefully distant) later date.

I, too, have performed personal duty in such a bin as you have described. In a tent. A small tent. I have since improved my camping gear to avoid such indignity in the future.

Congratulations on your victory over Death. Perhaps you could also challenge Taxes and take a win. That would make you a true modern folk hero.

Mike

Kevin Musgrove said...

Have you been away?






(-:
Best wishes to Martha and big thanks to W.C. for the updates.

p.s. Don't knock it: there are people who pay good money to gave the opportunity to crap in salad storage containers. I used to work with one, which is why I nip out to the pub for lunch these days.

Alice said...

I am so very happy to log on and find this news today! Welcome back! Please take care of yourself and Martha. I wish I could think of something clever to make you laugh, but I'm just so dang giddy you are okay.

And that is one of the few poems I have always liked!

hope said...

Yea!

I figure that's enough comment for now, considering how popular you are. :)

Rest...then commence teaching, Professor. We missed you.

flying eagle woman said...

oh so GOOD to see you back...SO GOOD - :-) 'nuff said?
HUGS and MORE thanks to WC for the updates
Shawna

Syd said...

well, I am new to your blog but am glad that you are doing better. One professor to another in a way here. I am newly retired and glad for it.

The things that we have to use to crap in are just amazing. And sometimes nothing at all but a free fall in the woods. Dignity shall prevail in some manner.

Murr Brewster said...

Take your time, Professor, we'll all be sitting here with little goofy grins waiting patiently for you to feel up to it. Congratulations on the crouton production.

Library girl said...

Ok, now I'm going to look at salad containers at the deli with a whole new perspective :) So glad you're back Charlie! xx

Diane said...

Hey Charlie...Welcome Home and Back; you were indeed missed!

Yes, I am one of those "No Patience" souls, fortunately for the library patrons (and me) I work in the back in Tech Services...LOL

Unknown Mami said...

Did you feel that? That was me giving you a virtual hug. It is so nice to read your words again. Welcome back and please do everything in your power to stick around.

Unknown Mami said...

I just read all the comments left on this post. It is a testament to how you have managed to touch people with your words.

I'm so happy you have found such a supportive community.

Fay's Too said...

Yay, yay, and whoodidooo. I'm so ding dang happy you're back I could spit. In fact, I think I will!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

mwah! mwah! mwah! Big smoochies to you on your return!

Man, I turn my back for a few days and you sneak back into the blogosphere with a vengeance. You've still got it Charlie!

I've never used a bedpan (or a Rubbermaid) but I remember being quite enamoured with the urinary whole catheter business. Need to pee? Just relax. Lovely.

Stinkypaw said...

Happy to read you back! Do take care! xox

stacybuckeye said...

I'm so glad to see you back :) I don't comment often, but I am a regualar reader and have missed your posts.