Monday, November 01, 2010

Leaving the Past in the Past

From Trina, who has a wonderful blog called MomMeVille.

* * *

Letting Go
by Trina

I'm turning 40 next month, started up yoga again and have had some "stuff" arise
inside of me that has made me take a look at my life and my abandonment issues.

I starting today...

will not hold onto the past pains
will not subject family members whom i love to my anger from what others have done to me in the past
I will not allow my heart to stay closed when I know it should be open
I will focus on being nicer - because my family isn't out to get me
I will set boundaries towards people who hurt me... or let's say just get rid of them from my life 
that includes people who may be family who hurt me
move forward and know that I can choose to be happy and not allow the past to have all the power
I will win and I will smile I will feel love and give love
what people have done to me in the past is the past and should not affect me today or tomorrow

I am not alone, I am loved and I love myself ( that is tough )

I am going to get a tattoo before or on my birthday to celebrate me and my life. To remind myself 
to live my dreams, keep moving forward and to never let my past hurt my future!

Used by permission. Visit the site to view the accompanying photographs.

* * *

For the past two weeks since Trina wrote this, I’ve had my nose—proboscis, snout, honker—pressed against the computer screen so I could read it (and write this). As an advocate of personal change, I’m happy as a clam because of her decision to deal with "stuff." It has me doing a little “YES!” dance around my desktop, similar to my Arizona rain dance. Most of all, it tells me that she is not content to live in the past (or as I call it, die in the past), but is determined to meet the past head-on and let the bad shit go.

It won’t be easy, getting rid of the pain and the hurt, and it won’t happen overnight, but Trina’s determination, commitment, strength, and courage will all help her heal. As will medication for depression or anxiety, and professional counseling—whatever it takes to get over the really rough spots, to exorcise the demons who persist in haunting the dark corners of the soul.

Trina told me in an email that writing “Letting Go” made her feel better already. I’m so glad. And she deserves to reward herself because she’s doing the work and not an invisible Higher Power.

Here is Trina’s advice to herself that I’ve turned around for all of you:

Remind yourself to live your dreams, keep moving forward, and never let your past hurt your future!

* * *


Ponita said...

This is perfect! And oh so true. Learn from your past... and carry the best lessons with you into the future. It will make your world a better place.

So nice to see you here, Charlie... hope you continue to be able to pound out a word or two.

Mapstew said...

Wise words from such a young wan! :¬)

Hello charles, good to see you pal! :¬)

Faysoflife said...

Yay, Yay, yippity, hahooo, whooopy! Great advice.

trina said...

you are so sweet to support me and encourage me to be strong! Thank you so much!

huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugssssssssssssssss (hopefully that isn't too hard to read... just a big tight hug)


Kid-at-heart said...

Yes, indeed...wise words. Thanks for sharing them. (Don't know why sometimes I can't get your blog to recognize me as laytonwoman3rd, even though I am logged into Blogger under that name. I've tried kicking the computer -- that's my son-in-law's advice, and he's got a lot of education-- but it doesn't work.)

Charlie Callahan said...

I'm sorry, Linda, that your son-in-law's education doesn't work.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I wholly support everything Trina has expressed... except the tattoo. Somehow, over time, embracing "change" seems counter intuitive with respect to something so permanent as a tattoo.

Kim Ayres said...

Wise words from you both :)

Tiffintui said...

Good stuff, Charlie (and Trina). I've always thought of the bad stuff that happens to us in life as being like having a sliver: if you don't get the darn thing out and disinfect the wound, you're going to have much bigger problems. No one ever asks for a sliver. The darn things just find your tender flesh and go in. Getting them out sometimes requires things like needles or professional intervention but once they're out, the relief is terrific. It is so satisfying to throw the offender into the garbage and carry on, restored.

hope said...

I actually have "Dare to Dream" on the face of my cell phone. It's easy to lose one's "self" in the mundane day-to-day.

Cheers to living positively!

barbara said...

Trina is very wise indeed. If only I had a modicum of her sense when I was her age...

Pat said...

Good girl Trina and all the luck in the world. You see what an influence you have Charlie.
In a much slighter way I'm inspired to stop being a prat and forgive a friend for what seemed to be an unkindness.

Madame DeFarge said...

It is an admirable ambition, if she can stick to it. Not to be negative, but having tried that at 40, it became harder each year since. I hope she has more luck. Or gumption.

Kevin said...

Kicking the computer doesn't work, but kicking the office photocopier does.

Alice said...

Here, here!

trina said...

Hello, Madame :)

Just a quick update...

I have felt so much better since writing that post! Truly enlightened. I feel as though I have learned one really important thing...

you can forgive someome for hurting you and still remember what happened, not feeling as though you are - should we say- okey doking... the situation and then loving yourself. Once you can love yourself then forgive someone... things get much easier!

I am still working on the loving one self but feel lighter and more free... a little bit each day... lots of work still ahead but I have not forgotten my commitment!



Stasia said...

Good for Trina! And good for you too, Charlie! Glad to see a 'read live' blog post from you :)

SydLaughs said...

Good to live your dreams. That is what I try to do.

Wandering Coyote said...

Awesomeness! I went through something quite similar when I turned 30, and it's definitely been an ongoing process. Letting go isn't instant; it takes time and a lot of patience with yourself. Good luck Trina.

trina said...


trina said...

Thank you everyone for your kind words of support, isn't Charlie awesome!