Monday, February 28, 2011

The Great Elbow Debacle

“Martha, my elbow hurts. I mean it’s all swollen up and it feels hot and it really hurts.”

“Geezus, you’ve turned into a whino: can’t you go one day without whining about something? It’s bursitis**, just like you’ve had before. I’ll get you into the family clinic to have it drained—will that shut you up?”

Sometimes, my beloved gets a little testy with me.

MARTHA TAKES CHARLIE TO THE FAMILY CLINIC, 2/3/11, 2:10 P.M.

What Martha and I expected to be a ten-minute procedure turned into something a bit more.

When the nurse practitioner and later, a real doctor, got a gander at my goose egg, they concurred that it was extremely infected and were unwilling to treat it. They referred us to an emergency hospital they said would see me quickly and that had more expertise with infections.

Strike 1.

MARTHA TAKES CHARLIE TO THE EMERGENCY HOSPITAL, 2/3/11. 3:30 P.M.

The emergency hospital saw me quickly, but they did nothing for the next 10½ hours. I saw the ER doctor twice: “Hmm,” he said, “this elbow looks extremely infected, but I’ll drain it.” At 1 a.m. and still undrained, they decided to admit me for the night and Martha went home, exhausted. At 2 a.m., when the ambulance attendants arrived, the same doc said, “I’m sending you to a full-service hospital because they have a guy who specializes in infections.”

Strike 2.

THE AMBULANCE TAKES CHARLIE TO THE HOSPITAL, 2/4/11, 2:15 A.M.

I saw the female infections doctor late in the afternoon on the 4th, and she told me my elbow was extremely infected. She seemed pissed off at me about it, when it fact it was a drug I take that caused the bursitis and the infection. She began heavy-duty IV antibiotics and ran them around the clock. For six days.

The inflammation never was drained by a hypo, even though that was my presenting problem everywhere I went. Instead, it broke all by itself, bathing me in blood and an oily pus very similar to 10-30 motor oil. Three days of draining and packing the hole it left ended on 2/10/11 about 2 p.m., or eight days after the whole thing started.

Finally, success.

SUCCESS?

1. Both dogs were pissed at me. I told them I'd be back in an hour or so and it turned out to be over a week. Molly, my fourteen-year-old guard dog, suspects me of playing around with younger bitches.

2. Home health has been coming in all month to repack and rewrap my wound, but Martha is doing it most of the time (and is very good at it). I quit whining when she's digging around inside my arm, though, and that's a tough thing for me to do.

3. $$$$. $1,225.25 out-of-pocket so far.



**Bursitis an is inflammation of the fluid-filled sac (bursa) that lies between a tendon and skin, or between a tendon and bone. Bursae are fluid-filled cavities near joints where tendons or muscles pass over bony projections. They assist movement and reduce friction between moving parts. Bursitis commonly occurs in the shoulder, knee, elbow, and hip.


40 comments:

Macy said...

Ah this is bringing back memories! Nothing like spending quality time with a range of medical specialists ....Glad to hear you're back home and under decent human care again!

Kim Ayres said...

Not having heard of bursitis before, I read it as bursTitis and imagined something that swells up and if not treated then bursts all over the place. Seems I wasn't far off the mark...

Pat said...

You are the least whiniest person I know. That must have been SO painful and being trailed form pillar to post the icing on the cake. NOT!
I was very puzzled at first - we do date; month, year. Today is 1/3/11. Or if you wan to be pedantic 01/03/11. I ought to be used to the Amercan way by now:)

Faysoflife said...

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. . . . . Now I like a good anabanny ride as much as the next guy, but what have I told you about letting geese nest on your elbow. Sure, it seems like fun and games at first, but inevitably things will get out of hand and you end up with goose grease on the perfectly nice hospital sheets! Please try to be more careful!
(and I'm glad you're back home)

Kid-at-heart said...

Not a word about the nurses, who I am sure treated you like a king for those 8 days, what with the back rubs and the sponge baths and the sympathy...And really, wasn't it about time for your Green Jello fix anyway?

Ponita said...

You had yourself a good abcess there, didn't you!??! Been there, done that one the wound packing thing. That's part of my job - wound care - and I actually quite like it! I'm surprised they didn't drain it - would have saved you the big hole and ongoing packing and such. Just glad it's done and you're back home... and hopefully the dogs forgave you. ;-)

lisleman said...

and people have the never to complain about tennis elbow. Not medically trained but your story seems to have plenty of mistakes by those that are.

Pat said...

We say 'pissed' when someone is drunk. We would say your dogs were 'pissed off' at you.
Vive la difference:)

Robert the Skeptic said...

Well Charlie: As it turns out I'm reading this a from the relative discomfort of a local hospital bed myself. It appears that some pesky little pathogens decided to visit my cardio system as well and hammer me with the a double -hot of pneneumonia and revisit my crappy heart valve. I'll be going home with t a IV antibiotic pump in a day or so (if I'm "lucky") I should probably post my adventure as well. Damn. old guys are hard to keep up with, aren't we.

Kevin said...

Ye gods... For that money I'd expect to be ministered to by perfumed doxies.

Mapstew said...

Dontcha just hate it when parts of your body burst open like that!
(And you're still smiling I bet! Poor Martha!) :¬)

TechnoBabe said...

Well, darn it, Charlie. What a lot of shuffling around. If you lived closer, I would have popped that monster for you. No charge. You're welcome.

Charlie Callahan said...

In this case, it was a range of medical nonspecialists: none of them wanted to get involved.

It is good to hear from you; we ought to run a "who can post the least" competition. Robert Burns seems to have done you in.

Charlie Callahan said...

You were right on the mark, Kim. Gee, you're smart.

Charlie Callahan said...

The reason I'm the least whiniest person you know is because I try not to bring it to work here at the blog. I save it for home.

I know I confuse people every time I write the American format. I'll remember to write it out at March 1, 2011.

Charlie Callahan said...

Yes, you're right. Nesting geese on my elbow is a bad, bad thing. Next time, I'll pay attention to you.

Charlie Callahan said...

To be truthful, Kid, I disliked both the hospital and most of the staff..I also almost starved to death. My heart monitor blipped a couple times, so they put me on a cardiac/low salt diet. Guess who didn't eat each day's breakfast of reconstituted scrambled eggs with no salt and a dry piece of toast?

Charlie Callahan said...

Don't ask me, Pon, why they didn't drain it—I was just the patient with a very sore elbow.

Molly forgave me after a day of dirty looks and she loves me again.

Charlie Callahan said...

Medicine can do amazing things, l-man, but sometimes it's the simpler things that cause confusion. In addition, there are times when too many doctors, nurses, and assistants spoil the stew.

[DISQUS is all screwed up today: one of which is there's no comment prompt on my posts.

barbara said...

I sure hope the dogs have forgiven you by now! They are never going to believe anything you tell them anymore. Now stop spending all your gambling money on your elbow!

Charlie Callahan said...

I must be careful, then, how I use profanity (I've already had some lessons from Kim and Map).

Charlie Callahan said...

"Damn. old guys are hard to keep up with, aren't we."

Naw, just call around to the hospitals—people will find us sooner or later.

I saw Nancy's post on your blog and I thought, "Bummer, man." I hope you get back to normal, and thanks for taking the time to visit me and comment.

Charlie Callahan said...

Depending on your definition fo doxies, I was. And now they want their money.

Charlie Callahan said...

Thank you, Nurse T-Babe. You're a real sport when it comes to popping monsters.

Charlie Callahan said...

Yes: especially punches in the nose and gigantic zits.

Charlie Callahan said...

Irish never really did give a damn, but Molly was heartbroken because she thought she smelled another dog on me. I rubbed her tummy for two days, she forgave me, and we're in love again.

And I don't have any gambling money because Martha has it all.

Nancy said...

OMG, and I thought Robert (the Skeptic) would have something to blog about when he breaks out of the hospital. What an ordeal you went through, and you did not entirely loose your sense of humor in the horrible process. I've noticed a few little issues like the multiple medical personnel being so involved in diagnosing that they have forgotten to fit in feeding an hydrating the patient..don't get me started. Nancy, Robert's Spousal Unit

Trina said...

bummmmmmmmmmer lammmmmmmmo, that doesnt sound fun!

Hope your well soon!

T

M Witzl said...

I hope the analgesics they gave you were heavy duty, Charlie. If it's any consolation, I've had bursitis and it made me whine like nobody's business.

Charlie Callahan said...

You're an astute woman, Nancy, but that makes sense being married to Robert the Astute. The emergency hospital did not give me food, water, a blanket, a urinal—or of course my regular meds, which Martha had to go home for, a 20-mile roundtrip. I realized I wasn't top priority emergency-wise, but I was human with basic needs.

Charlie Callahan said...

I do very few things that are fun, Trina, but having my tummy rubbed is one of my fave fun things.

The home health nurse was in for the final time yesterday and said the wound should be healed in a week or less.

Charlie Callahan said...

Analgesics? It takes an act of Congress to get a lousy ibuprofen (best for bursitis), but of course Congress can't agree on anything. That's why Martha carries a stash in her purse—she gets headaches and pain too, and I just steal 'em.

I'm glad to know that you're a fellow whino.

Attila the Mom said...

Gah!!!!!!!

Charlie Callahan said...

I hope you hock up whatever that is in your throat soon.

VollyfromtheBlog said...

Aw, Charlie, I just had a chance to read this. Yikes! Sorry you had to go through all that but of course glad it's over and you're better. I had something along those lines last spring, and in a MUCH more embarrassing place than my elbow, but my GP drained it right there in his office, saying "You sure don't want to go through this at a hospital." For real... I'm really surprised they weren't willing to take the simplest route and do a needle aspiration. Can you get any of them to explain why? That's just nutz. Hope you continue well.

One girl said...

I love reading your blog, first because it is always witty and second because it is full of the raunchy humor that is so dear to my heart. It was not quite befitting the idea my hubby had of a "lady" but he fell in love with me and my sailors mouth anyway.

Unfortunatley, I have not been able to show this side of myself to my followers here in the blog world because my blog serves another purpose. to hopefully fix my broken ass, well, really it is my mind that is broken, not my ass, but you get my point.

I am so glad that your "final curtain call" has led to many encores.... You would have left a gaping hole in blogger.com had you really went away from here forever.

Charlie Callahan said...

Hi, Volly! Yes, it was the making of a mountain out of a molehill. They would have done a needle thing if it hadn't broken first; they were all obsessed with the infection and not the molehill. And a couple xtra days in the hospital ($$$).

Thanks for stopping by.

Charlie Callahan said...

What nice things to say—I think I really like you, One girl!

I went to your blog yesterday and I see what you mean. Bravo for what you're doing—I truly believe that "journaling" is a great aid to healing.

About my final curtain call. I'm not allowed near the curtains because "they're hung just right", so that was a shuffle off to Buffalo instead. The only thing is, I don't know where the hell Buffalo is.

Cyndi said...

Well, hello there, Charlie. Glad you occasion a visit back to the classroom, haha.
I stumbled upon a website that you may or may not know about: www.earthclinic.com and it's choc-full of herbal and ancient remedies to the things that plague us today. Take a look...you never know...miracles do happen.
Oh, and since I'm high-risk for glaucoma, this website has me eating carrots and taking bilberry every day. Are you eating your carrots? haha

Charlie Callahan said...

Hi, Cyndi! I'll check out that website, but I'm unlikely to start munching carrots—I seldom eat anything that's good for me. Thanks for the thought.