Sunday, December 11, 2011

Heaven

It’s finally official. I have decided that, once my lungs cease laboring and I leave this place, I’m going to Heaven.

Oh, not the Heaven of the theologians, the allegorists and apologists, the philosophers, the clergy and charlatans and con men because none of them seem to know much more about it than choirs of chubby cherubs.

Nevertheless, I call the place I’m going "Heaven" because I don’t want to confuse. Saying, “I’m going to Turnip after I die,” doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it. Plus, I truly believe that Heaven exists somewhere in the Universe, much different from the centuries of speculation by the sages.

Since no one has ever been there and back again, I believe I can speculate with the best of them. I mean, who can say that I’m wrong—and prove it?

The best thing is I’ve had a lot of time to construct my vision of Heaven and it has taken my fear of death completely away.

So. What will Heaven be like?

The first stop on my journey will be the Rainbow Bridge to pick up my best friends. (PLEASE read this if you have not.)  Jennifer, Fred, Punkers, and Molly are waiting for me there and, when we spot each other, I can't imagine the happiness there will be knowing we will never ever be separated again.

This may sound corny to non-pet people and that’s okay. But to all the theological experts who say animals don’t have souls and cannot go to Heaven, please PROVE it to me. I choose to believe that I will spend eternity with my pets and that gives me something to look forward to as I lay here, waiting.

Eternity: the best weapon preachers have to scare the Hell into us with the assurance we will burn in agony forever and ever and ever and ever . . .

The notion of eternal torture has worked well on me, ever since I was a tiny boy. It has caused me a lifetime of guilt, shame, and fear when in fact the notion is wrong. Wrong, because eternity denotes time, and time is a man-made concept. Heaven won’t have time; there will be no days, years, millenium or schedules to clean the top of the refrigerator. Life will always be in the present.

Living in the present rules out living in the past, which we all do no matter how hard we try not to. In Heaven, there will be no more bad memories, regrets, fear, or sorrow. I will live, for the first time in sixty-some years, totally at peace—totally tranquil and serene, instead of depressed and randomly attacked by panic. I will feel the calm and stillness inside me, indescribable happiness, and that gives me something to look forward to as I lay here, waiting.

And while the dogs and I are hiking through our Heavenly forest and communing with all the animals and birds that live here, Martha will be standing on the path, smiling, her arms spread wide, coming home to join us. . . .



56 comments:

Philip Dodd77 said...

I can see you. A demented St Franis surrounded by a whirling maelstrom of crazy animals. If it exists, I look forward to seeing you there my friend. We'll both be in the "barely tolerated" corner, I suspect.

Joanne said...

Lovely and peaceful and poetic!

s.longworth3 said...

Heaven - that enchanted forest, with magic behind every tree, where we walk with the people we love, while all our pets scamper around our feet. Oh I so hope you're right Charlie - and I hope I get there too.

Murr Brewster said...

Well, that sure puts a shine on death. I like it. I hope my dog Boomer is in a younger phase. Towards the end there she was getting a little...unreliable.

Mapstew said...

And there will be lots of music! :¬)

Bibliophilebythesea said...

I like your view of the hereafter Charlie --hope u are right!

I like to think that someday I'll mother, father, 2 brothers and all of my former cats again. (not too soon I hope).

DJan Stewart said...

I can't wait! How much nicer a place you've designed here, Charlie.

savannah said...

i like your style, sugar! ;) xoxoxoxox

Stinkypaw said...

Rainbow Bridge does sound like a great place... pets are the best no matter what people say, and we all should try to learn from them a little more... may you find peace in your wait. *Hugs*

Macy said...

Hey the good news is that physicists are now working with the concept of 18 dimensions. Out of 18, one of them has to allow for heaven!

And I'm with you on dogs. Mine would never run off without me. He'll be waiting! Meet you and yours later Charlie!

Eryl Shields said...

Why do some people insist that animals don't go to heaven? I think they must confuse having a soul with being able to do the Times crossword. Fools.

Linda Koons said...

Wait. Does this mean you've decided NOT to come back and tell the rest of us what it's really like "up there"? No need now, I suppose, since you have it on very good authority (yours) already. I'll take your vision to heart, and look forward to introducing 4 very sweet Shelties and one cantankerous tom cat to your bouncing brood.

cici_w said...

Hi Charlie, this sounds great. You obviously have thought it through and have found a peace in your conclusions. I have always said the same thing; who has ever gone on and then come back to describe it to the rest of us? NO ONE. So who can say one has the incorrect belief. At heart we all have our own idea of what is beyond this life.

My mother, who is ninety years old, is preparing to make the journey from this life too. I talk with her every day and the hospice people put the phone to her ear. She is happy with her belief of what she will find after she takes her last difficult breath.

I commend you both.

Deanna Schrayer said...

Charlie, this is absolutely beautiful! I am so glad to hear you're looking forward to Heaven - and Heaven as it should be viewed by ALL IMHO. Even those of us who think we have years and years left, (and of course we never know that for sure), should take the time to imagine what our Heaven will be like.

I won't even get started on the people who scare the Hell into us - Ithis reply would be longer than your post. :) Much peace to you!

I

Deanna Schrayer said...

LOL - I don't know what that "I" is doing hanging down there at the bottom of my reply - maybe I was about to get started on the people scaring the Hell into us? :)

Syd said...

I would be glad to see my beloved animals again. But perhaps we will mingle our energies together. I don't know how it will be, but I hope that there will be some reuniting of the souls.

Ponita said...

Living in the moment is the way dogs do it, and dogs have more "soul" than a lot of people do... so I think your version of "Heaven" is exactly as it should be. I've got a whole zoo waiting for me at the other end of that rainbow bridge... dogs, cats, horses, birds, turtles... and a bunch of people too. I feel blessed to know you, Charlie, as much as one can know someone only through the words they write and the emotions they express. You are a wonderful soul... Thanks for writing up some of your thoughts as you lie there waiting. I'm glad we can do some of the waiting with you. xoxoxo

Fay said...

That is a most excellent definition of Heaven. That's where I'm going, too. So, I guess I'll see you there. And as there is not time there, I guess I see you there now! And Freddie Herman Campbell, a beagle and best friend of my youth is there. I know he is. He is enjoying not being laughed at for his feminine habits and tastes. He was metrosexual before metrosexual was cool. I tear up just remembering him - every single time. No one has understood me as well since. And Munny, my
German grandma will be there with secrets of her cooking, and my Grandma Campbell will be there will all sort of secrets. And my Papa will be there with the answers that he always had for everything (he knew everthing there was worth knowing.) And the boy next door who was killed by a drunk driver when we were in college. And Will, ah, Will,my friend will be there and I can apologize face to face for being less than supportive during his death. And for me it will always be 68 degrees and sunny, until it's time to sleep, then it will be 50 degrees and raining.
Dark chocolate, home made dumplins, creme brulee, and vanilla ice cream will be health food and readily avilable.
Charlie, if it's ok with you, we can go on regular flights together. I can't wait to fly without a plane. And I am very eager to learn what it feels like to be a 200 year old oak tree and a mermaid. These are things I'm including in my Heaven. I reckon we get to design our own. The coolest part is that (and I'm sure we agree on this) there ain't gonna be no pain. We will have no problems breathing or walking or talking and we will KNOW love and peace like never before. Dang, my friend, if it comes tonight, I'm ready for that. I really am. And I'm so excited to meet you in person and introduce you and Punkers and your other friends to Fred, Macadoo, Alex and the rest of them. One thing is for sure, it's going to be one HUGE adventure and I've never been one to shy away from an adventure.
As my friend Will used to tell me, I'll meet you in the ethers, Darlin.
But until then, would you keep writing. I seem to need it.
I love you more than maple creme brulee!

hope said...

Although I was raised in a religious family (not overly so, but enough to know I didn't want to be friends with Beelzebub) I still think of heaven as a reward for trying to do your best in life. And the best reward is the one that grants all your wishes...including breathing easier and being able to holler your pets name...and see him/her come running. :)

So I like the heaven you envision, especially if it starts with a tree lit path like above, instead of a tunnel of light. Just don't be in too big a hurry to go check the pets. Because, believe it or not, visiting here with you is a small piece of heaven itself: the land where I.Q. and sense of humor live in harmony. :)

barbara said...

That sounds like my kind of place, Charlie. I am adopting your vision of heaven. In fact, if you feel inclined to start your own religion, count me in.

Kim Ayres said...

Peace sounds good, Charlie. I'll miss you, but be glad you found it :)

Pat said...

Your Heaven sounds a lot like the one I'm hoping to gain access to. I'll look out for you:)

Charlie Callahan said...

St. Francis, unfortunately, was the town looney before his love for animals distinguised him. As far as the "barely tolerated" corner, I think we'll get along well there because I'm so used to them.

Charlie Callahan said...

Thank you for the kind words, Joanne, but you would rethink "poetic" if you've read any of mine. It stinks.

Charlie Callahan said...

Now that's poetic!

As far as "getting there," I don't know where else you'll go. If worse comes to worst, use a GPS to find us.

Charlie Callahan said...

Boomer will be just fine. According to the Rainbow Bridge, "All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor."

But just in case I'm wrong, take along some paper sacks for, uh, unreliable leavings.

Charlie Callahan said...

Note to me: this is where I left off.

Charlie Callahan said...

Unlike Blogger, you can use the EDIT button on your original comment to rid it of the "I", or to change anything you want. But thanks for telling me because you had me all confused.

Robert Neary said...

I like your version of Heaven, Charlie. You're probably right.

Charlie Callahan said...

Robert! It's so good to hear from you, knowing that you aren't feeling well. Or that you've decided blogging isn't your first priority.

I don't know about the veracity of my "Heaven" but it feels right, and that's what makes time here bearable.

Charlie Callahan said...

Tish, a young woman like you isn't going anyplace soon, except to the supermarket or bookstore. Uh, how many cats did you say you had?

Charlie Callahan said...

18 dimensions! That's enough to give Spock a pounding headache. I wonder how they figured that out—maybe they've been there and back.

All we need is one, a place of forever peace, love, and happiness.

Charlie Callahan said...

And I like yours even better.

Charlie Callahan said...

May I ride one of your horsies? The only ones I've ever ridden were on carousels.

And you get the award for bringing tears to my eyes—such nice words from a lady full of heart. Thank you, Pam.

Charlie Callahan said...

How will I ever miss a kind, classy, intelligent lady with an English accent like you?

Charlie Callahan said...

Lots and lots of wonderful places to hike, Jan.

Charlie Callahan said...

Thanks, Stinky. Whatever happened to your pet blog? That's where I learned about the Rainbow Bridge . . .

Charlie Callahan said...

Fools galore, actually, since I (we) don't really know what a soul is.

Charlie Callahan said...

No, once I'm gone I'm not coming back to tell all; if I have to wait, then so do all the rest of you. But for you, Linda, I'll have my ghost writer send you an email as soon as I meet Bill Faulkner.

Heaven can use plenty of Shelties, but Irish isn't fond of cantankerous cats.

Charlie Callahan said...

NOTE TO ME: This is where I left off.

Trina said...

Oh C dog, your so brave and take you time getting there, I want to hear some more stories! Send me an email and update me how your doing
trina@millibit.com

Charlie Callahan said...

This is a hard one to comment on because you're so complex, Kim. I would like to think that we'll meet somewhere in some kind of afterlife, but nobody really knows.

And if we do meet again for the first time, please bring your Celtic bouzouki—what a beautiful sound—and your camera for some face (and group) shots.

Charlie Callahan said...

Hi, Syd! I have no idea if my construct of Heaven holds an ounce of water, but my biggest hope is to see my critters, my family without their earthly burdens, and my friends.

And imagination a place where there are no addictions and all the pain and horror they have caused.

Charlie Callahan said...

Imagining a personal hereafter is a fine exercise but too much, even for the dying, is a bit too, uh, morbid.

As far as your second paragraph, no comment. My intention of this essay was never to attack or denigrate anyones' beliefs or religion. I do, however, know what you're talking about.

Charlie Callahan said...

Yes! A religion for zombies! Commandment 1: Thou shalt not eat your friends and families.

Damn good idea there, Mrs. Zombie.

Charlie Callahan said...

"The coolest part is that ... there ain't gonna be no pain. We will have no problems breathing or walking or talking and we will KNOW love and peace like never before.

So well said, Fay. It almost sounds like you'll need a list for all the things you'll be busy doing. And knowing you, you've barely begun your dreams.

I don't think Heaven will be a place to make apologies for things we did or did not do here on Earth. The friends and family who have gone before us forgave us a long time ago.

Charlie Callahan said...

You always say nice things, Hope, and I believe that you've tried your best all your life. Oh, maybe a slip here and there, but who doesn't slip up? We are hardly perfect, cannot attain perfection, so doing our best is the best we can do.

Why do I get the feeling that I'm preaching to the choir?

Charlie Callahan said...

Hi, Trina! Alas, whilst fooling around with this fool computer, I accidently deleted you in Google reader. Since you weren't a follower, I couldn't find you again.

As far as writing, I'm doing very little I spend minimal time at the computer and maximal time in bed conserving energy.

I'll make note of your email address, and thanks for commenting.

Ponita said...

Look for Joe when you get there, Charlie. He's a black behemoth with four hairy white hooves and the most gorgeous blue eyes ever. And a kinder soul you would never meet in a horse. He's there already. He'll take good care of you when you want to go for a ride. xoxoxo

Charlie Callahan said...

I was right when I said you're full of heart. Joe was certainly beloved, and he's waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. I think I'll wait until you bring him to Heaven and you can teach me to ride him.

Ponita said...

Good thing there's no time in heaven, because I plan on a whole lotta living before I go collect him (and the rest of the zoo... especially Jake and Silas!) at the Rainbow Bridge. But we'll see you there, and you can ride like the wind on Joe, Charlie. He won't have arthritis anymore and he's like riding a big comfy couch. He loves apples but be prepared to have your hand slobbered on something fierce! He works up a pretty good mouthful of drool when he knows there's apples. :-)

Kim Ayres said...

Well, I'd love that, Charlie :)
Hope you and Martha squeeze as much enjoyment out of the Festive Season as possible :)

Stacybooks said...

Your best friends will definitely be there. Any Heaven would be lonely without our furry friends.

Joni said...

I too will meet my loyal companions in that safe place where they fear not motor vehicles, parkinglots instead of fields of daisys and only loving humans to spend enternity with  :}

Elisabeth said...

And now, Charlie has gone to his Heaven.  I wish him well.  

Jenn said...

I'm sure you're happy there now. Enjoy.