Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Classifieds

POSITION AVAILABLE: Dog to train human. Must be gentle and patient because I am a slow learner and easily distracted. Desire to learn new sleeping position (on back with arms in air and hands bent loosely at wrist), screaming my brains out at solicitors and religious nuts who ring the doorbell, eating from a bowl without utensils or fingers (except for finger food), and a deep spiritual appreciation for tummy rubs. No leashes or chains as I am not into S&M! Prefer M&Ms for treats and reinforcement. Inquire within.

5 comments:

Fido said...

Well I certainly have a deep spiritual appreciation of tummy rubs, but I'm wary about you humans having an enjoyment of having us dogs "seen to"

Mel said...

I can be a real bitch, but I have a dog of my own to train. :)

Pee Ess: Good to see you, my friend! You're as handsome as I expected. I scrolled right past it, shot right back up to the top, and yelled your name in delight. Great picture!

Charlie said...

"FIDO" AYRES: Fido, I'm guessing, is a very old English name.

If I understand "seen to", it's fairly painless for a male—snip snip and it's done.

MEL: Thank you for the compliment (blush) and, because of it, I have decided that you are my new best friend. May I call you Buddy (Fido is taken)?

Kimber said...

But how can I teach you the most important thing of all: how to chase your tail?! And forget M&Ms. Today I found doggy treats that look just like Almond Roca . . . in the cat-box!

Charlie said...

KIMBER: I probably know you, but then again, I probably do not. In either case, thank you so much for your input.

Chasing my tail, I believe, would be somewhat counter-productive: I'd just get dizzy and puke. As far as chasing tail in general, my wife doesn't allow it.

The cat box seems like a strange place to store candy, but that's irrelevent: I love almonds, but roca makes me . . . puke.