Friday, September 25, 2009

Charlie Lloyd Webber's Katz!


Fact: There are no seeing-eye cats.

Fact: There are no bomb-sniffing cats.

Fact: There are no drug-sniffing cats.

Fact: There are no rubble-sniffing rescue cats.

Fact: There are no K-9 attack cats.

Fact: There are no St. Bernard cats with itty-bitty brandy barrels tied around their itty-bitty necks.

Question: What good are cats, except for singing and dancing their little hearts out on Broadway?

[Just funnin', folks.]


Book Bird Dog said...

What were those kats doing? I know, someone threw them a treat! Nice picture. Muriel Barbery, in her novel, says cats accompany you, are witnesses as you go through your life, or something like that. She had much better words to express that (sorry, can't find the page). You might have to read the book :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Seeing eye cats would be pretty hilarious though, wouldn't they? Because cats have such a good attitude.

savannah said...

ah, charlie, now y'all are talkin! ;~D cats are too willful for me, but they do keep a barn rodent free! xoxoxo

Shellie (Layers of Thought) said...

Hey there Charlie -
I have two cats and I love them. I am their slave... lol. What a cute little pic there of Punkers....I take it your a dog person.

So I got a post from you about Romeo and Juliet but it doesn't exist any more... it was looking very promising.

I like the new slogan - I blog therefore I am...excellent!
Take Care

Charlie said...

HARVEE: Cats are fascinating to me because they're so unpredictable—and you never know what they're "thinking."

BARB: With your cataract surgeries, a seeing-eye cat is the last thing you need.

SAVVY: Thanks for the advice—I'll remember that the next time I buy a barn.

SHELLIE: Actually, I'm an all-around critter person, but the little dog who replaced Punk hates cats—it would be WWIII around here. Punkers was very special and I still miss her.

I thought Romeo and Juliet was stinky, so I pulled it down. I've been known to do that before.

And thanks for liking my new slogan.

Peter S. said...

Hello, Charlie! I'm not really a cat person. I do have 2 extremely fat dogs though -- a dachshund named Babs and a mongrel named Bambi. I love them. Unlike me, though, they're particularly fond of cats. They even play with the stray cats here in our village.

By the way, have you read Denis Johnson's Tree of Smoke? I'm planning on reading it next. And I was keen on knowing your thoughts about it, since the novel's theme is something you can really relate to.

Pat said...

'and you never know what they're "thinking."'
I think they are thinking let those stupid dogs do all the work. I'm free to hunt and scratch and bitch and live the life of Riley. Purrrrrrrr!

St Jude said...

Well I've just got back. I have to say that I met some very professional cats whilst in St Lucia, professional beggars! They know just the right tilt of the head to look cute, how to look clean and tidy by cleaning their paws and faces before begging, oh and the clincher.. if at first they don't succeed sit on the wall behind your intended victim and wait until they are not looking then make a grab for the food. Just for the record they hate English mustard, good job I don't ;0)

Kim Ayres said...

Cats just remind us we're their pets.

I must admit a certain fondness for cats, but the fact I have an alergy to them means I wouldn't be a pet for one

Lady_Amanda said...

This one made me laugh outloud. Thanks Charlie

Charlie said...

PETER: It doesn't seem like two fat dogs would do very well on Broadway, but you don't strike me as a stage father anyway.

Thanks for the tip on Tree of Smoke.

PAT: You're right. There's no such thing as working sheep cats, are there.

ST JUDE: Welcome home. Cats are far from dumb: I'm wondering how you survived on English mustard alone.

KIM: Absolutely true.

LADY: You're such a nice person, Amanda. Thanks for laughing.

kara said...

my cat keeps me warm at night. she's like a mink with bad breath.

Meg said...

Cats are good at opening cupboards and sitting on top of the page of a book that you're reading. And, um... I think that's all.

Mary Witzl said...

I'm with Pat: cats are too smart to give a sh*t. And they are good for plenty! Digging up flower beds, scratching the sofa, reminding you to get up in the morning, warming your cold legs (only small dogs can do this as well), sticking their tail-ends in your face, killing rodents and song birds indiscriminately, looking beautiful, endless entertainment (just watch a cat with a paper bag some time and you'll see what I mean). And they purr. Dogs don't purr: you forgot that.

Charlie said...

KARA: That's exactly what Martha says about me.

MEG: As I recall, you had a cat back home that was good at crapping under your bed . . .

MARY: An excellent recapitulation. I didn't forget that dogs don't purr, however, because this post isn't about dogs. (How about that—a triple negative sentence, Tee-cha!)

Meg said...

Hahaha. Oh yes. Almost forgot about that one. The one I have now prefers the concrete floor in the garage, thank goodness.

Meg said...

Not that I should be thanking goodness for having to clean up cat crap on the garage floor...

Diane said...

That cat picture is so cute. Cat-lover here: we have (4) and we don't have to walk them either LOL

Charlie said...

MEG: None of my biz, M., but have you ever had a cat who used those things called "litter boxes"?

DIANE: I know several people who have multiple (more than 2) cats. But tell me: do all of your dark-colored skirts and pants look like cashmere? Or do you carry one of those sticky roller things around with you?