Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Tip for Mom


Save ½ the water and ½ the soap!

Think about it, moms. Why separate the child from his clothes, wash the clothes in one tub, and wash the child in yet another tub? Stupid, isn't it.

Well here's your answer. Just hose the kid down, rub a little soap on him, and hang him on the clothesline to dry! No more expensive electric bills to run the dryer, and no need to spend scarce money on big fluffy bath towels. Best of all, you won't have to fight the little troll to take a bath, which is common among the male of the species.

If you're Catholic or Mormon with an average of 8.6 kids, this tip will save you—and Earth—a BUNDLE.

This tip is brought to you by . . .


Fay's Too said...

Thank you for your Earth-wise tip. BTW, how many children do you have?

Charlie said...

FAY: None. (My shortest comment ever.)

Jimmy Bastard said...

Ahhh but it is the divils own job getting them dry in the rain Charlie.

Stinkypaw said...

Thank you for that. I can only imagine how they would look this time of year, since my towels come in stiff when I hang them on sunny days out... ah!

Meg said...

I'll have to remember that in case Joe and I ever decide to have demons, erm, I mean kids.

Pat said...

Could one do it to one's beloved I wonder? Not that it's necessary - most of the time:)

Kim Ayres said...

In fact, if you tie him to a tree, the dogs cocking their legs will save you on water too!

Wandering Coyote said...

Ahhh, I remember this picture from ages ago, when it was given to my high school creative writing class so we could write a piece on it. I don't have the piece anymore, but I'll never forget that picture.

mapstew said...

Charlie, I shared an apartment with your namesake many moons ago. He was from a pig-farming family from the mid-lands. Say no more!

Anyway, he got this bad rash, and I sent him to my doc, who wondered if he had been with an 'unsavoury lady'? Turns out he was washing his clothes in the bath. While he was HAVING a bath! Using detergent!

So, eventually the rash cleared up and he married his twin sister!


WV = Mismen! I kid you not!

Diane said...

OMG...Too funny, and if my kids were still young I would seriously consider this as a Time saving device!

Robert the Skeptic said...

See, I always thought that was a good argument to go around naked, save time and expense on laundry. The concept has become less appealing as I have aged. Not sure why.

Attila The Mom said...

When I read "A Tip for Mom" I thought you were like going to give me some money or something.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Or if you are fortunate enough to live in the vicinity of water, you could just throw them in the lake/river/ocean occasionally.

Tiffin said...

Charlie, you didn't know my twin lads. The clothespin hasn't been invented that could keep them on a line if they wanted off. Plus they've always been big...two enormous maples AND the clothesline would have been on the ground. Easier in the long run to throw them in the tub and their clothes in the wash.

Drifting off into memories of when they played rugby and Dirt was their middle name.

Charlie said...

JIMMY: The rain will slow 'em down, surely, but it is also a good lesson in patience and fortitude.

STINKY: I suppose you'd end up with stiff kids too.

MEG: Trolls, I think, is more PC.

PAT: If YTL needs an occasional clean-up, then go for it.

KIM: It was probably dog piss the kid smelled like in the first place, so I don't think your method will work very well.

WC: I'll take a stab at your title: "What I Did on My Summer Vacation".

Charlie said...

MAP: You are something else. A pig farmer who washed his clothes and himself with detergent and then married his twin sister.

Sounds like a Callahan. Or a Callaghan. Or an O'Callaghan. Whatever.

DIANE: Just think of all the extra books you could have bought and read! A Time saver indeed.

ROBERT: Perhaps it's the jowls and ear hair that embarrass you as you age.

MOM: I'll give you anything—money, jewels, cookies—but Prong is Out.

BARB: Not around the rivers and lakes where you live. The idea is to clean 'em, not poison 'em.

TUI: Has anyone ever told you that rugby players are maniacs? I guess my tip isn't for everyone, huh.

Ponita in Real Life said...

Love that photo!

I've washed myself in my bathing suit in a lake while out camping. But I used a bar of bath soap, not detergent... hence no rash like Map's friend.

Although I am well aware of the stench of a pig barn... I have a girlfriend who works in a boar station (breeding barn) and have on occasion been close to her after work and before the shower.


Charlie said...

PON: You know, getting up every morning to go to work in a pig breeding barn doesn't appeal to me. I can hear your friend now:

"Just another day at the f**k factory."

laytonwoman3rd said...

Wait...I was supposed to WASH my kid?

Charlie said...

LINDA!: Of course not; it's one of those personal preference things.

This tip was merely for those moms and dads who chose to wash their little (and not so little) trolls.