Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Flunking Facebook


Is it possible for one to flunk out of a social website? The answer is affirmative. You bet. Yowsa.

I know, because I’m the one who flunked out after four days of Facebooking: from Saturday afternoon until this afternoon. Four days of constantly looking behind my monitor and under the desk to see if anyone was watching me.

Let it be known that I have absolutely nothing against Facebook or the people who enjoy it. But for the socially challenged, it was the wrong place for me: if someone comes up with a WallFlowerBook, let me know. We can all stare at our screens, scared to death to ask someone to be a friend, and never say a fucking word.

Or how about an OldFartsBook where we talk about our operations, sagging boobs, and the fact that our dentures don’t fit correctly?

I did make seven friends, except they were all friends to begin with. The best thing that happened was I reunited with Kate of itisi, a long-time blogger friend whom I’d lost track of and vice versa. She is now on my sidebar again, along with the return of my Yorkshire “lass,” St. Jude.

I might have had an eighth friend when I received this invitation:

“I’m a friend of a friend, so I decided to go ahead and ask you.”

Geeze, lady, don’t bust your ass being so enthusiastic. I can see us now as instant bosom buddies in a hate-hate relationship. Call me crazy, but I declined.

I can see how this “friends” thing could snowball, or even avalanche. What the hell would I do with 6,742 friends whom I don’t know from Adam and Eve (both of whom are probably in the mix somewhere too)?

Facebook has its time and its place and its purpose, but rather than Facebook, I think I’m better off with a book in my face.

14 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I hear ya, big guy. It looks as though one of these days I am going to have to succumb and join facebook just to do my work more efficiently, but jeezuz I don't want to.

But if I do, I am asking your friend's friend to be my friend.

Wandering Coyote said...

I use it as a communication tool, but have my privacy settings set so high that no one can find me. This is how I like things since I have an ex. Only I have the power to find the people I want to find. I do like the convenience of the navigation; I generally use it as a big giant address book for emailing and like that about it. I was never into all those games & groups & other stupid stuff.

St Jude said...

I find it all rather 'noisy' all of those conversations going on at once, the other problem I have is that I'm not terribly good with names. I've met some very strange 'friends', and in my line of work that is not always welcome.

Kim Ayres said...

I only link to people I know, or have some kind of vague connection to. Did you ever read my post Eustacia Bancroft wants to be my friend?

Meanwhile, I'd avoid MySpace too.

And Bebo.

Tiffin said...

Joined for about 5 minutes and then quit. FaceBook wanted to know why. "because you're too invasive, FB". Couldn't agree with you more, Charlie.

*raising drawbridge, filling moat with piranhas, boiling up the oil*

Tui

Stinkypaw said...

I love you sir. Really. You're too cute.

On a sad note, I can't believe I wasn't ask to be among your 7 to 8 friends, oh well, I'll just be a 'blend'. :-)

Peter S. said...

Hi Charlie! Hardly a day goes by without me checking my Facebook. I know I should wean myself from FB, but it's just so addicting!

Also, I featured your bookshelves in my blog. Perhaps you can share the bit about The Source in the comments. I felt awkward and unworthy writing about it.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I've got a bit addicted to FB of late, largely because we've been using it to carry daft conversations on beyond the workplace. I've also found it useful for keeping tabs on friends who've been keeping a bunch of us posted on family health issues so's we're not worrying too much.

Meg said...

You're better off with it. I'm absolutely addicted and have even started playing silly little flash games where you plant seeds and grow corn and such. It's so stupid but I can't help myself!

Kate said...

As Kim says, steer clear of MySpace, it's full of very strange people who want to be your special friend ;-)

Oh, and don't tweet either! That's pretty hardcore, definitely not for wallflowers. It overwhelms me and I'm quite gregarious.

Charlie said...

BARBARA: I can see it being useful to you in networking with other music and freelance writers.

And funny you should mention it: my friend's friend is a writer too.

WC: One of the Snoop Sisters, eh? My problem was the inability to answer all 4,000 security questions and become the invisible old guy.

ST JUDE: You WORK with strange people, so I can understand not wanting them for friends too.

BTW, my name is Charlie, just in case you forget.

KIM: Maggie would have killed you dead if she saw the young woman in your friends list.

I think you enjoy Facebook beating the crap out of everyone in the logic games.

TUI: A castle! You live in a real castle!

Charlie said...

STINKY: I've never told you this, but your French shows when you call me "sir." "Too cute" I can handle. And I think being blends is perfectly fine.

THE NEXT 3 COMMENTERS ALL USE THE WORD "ADDICTED." GREAT. THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED.

PETER: If you enjoy FB, then fine. Weaning, however, has something to do with babies and other small mammals.

KEVIN: Daft conversations. That's a good one, since everyone you work with is daft.

Keeping up with family, however, seems quite useful.

MEG: Or should I say farmer Meg? You're still a kid so enjoy youself. Do they have Chutes & Ladders, BTW?

KATE: I'm fairly certain that I don't need any "special" friends on MS or anywhere else.

And tweeting is way over my brainpan. If you're overwhelmed then it must really be something for such a gregarious woman. (Great word)

Mary Witzl said...

I don't understand Facebook! I'm happy enough to blog; I don't have the time to mess around with trying to learn anything different. It was tough enough learning this whole blogging lark.

laytonwoman3rd said...

Wait...your boobs are sagging? I never would have guessed that.