In response to Madame DeFarge, who took a nasty spill (she missed a step) after attending a performance of the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, I said,
Madame, I am deeply distressed by your misfortune. I can only hope that your tumble was not into the cheap seats amongst the common rabble!
I have lodged a complaint, on your behalf, to the so-called manager of the theatre. He assured me that all stairway lighting will be increased from one-half watt bulbs to one full watt.
Alice, whose young daughter was "hunched over in ape-like knuckle-dragging pouting position," told her, "If you keep standing like that you're going to stay that way forever." It's true:
When I used to make goofy faces as a boy, my mom always said that one day my face would freeze like that. She was absolutely correct, but I've learned to live with it.
Hope showed this photo of a tomato she harvested from her garden.
I was astonished:
Don't tell me my urology ultrasounds found their way to YouTube!!!
Pearl's friend "T.", a figment of her fertile imagination, mentioned that he threw away his socks because he's never really trusted them. I, too, have an opinion regarding socks:
I personally believe that socks make the man—they are a visible statement of his who-ness.
Unless, that is, socks are all he is wearing. There is nothing more stupid-looking in the world than a naked man in socks.
So that's it, my first foray into the mysterious maelstrom of commenting. How'd I do, Mami? (Please, no smarm. Smarm, like gruel and porridge, makes me throw up.)
25 comments:
and you comment well, sugar! glad to see your words again! xoxoxo
Your comment about the tomato picture almost made me snort my morning mocha through my nose!
ahhhhh such a big smile this post brought to my face - dang! you're amazing
That was delightful. Makes me sorry that I didn't do it this week. I'll put you link in my post next week.
like you socks opinion
A naked man in socks is just plain lazy. While naked a woman in high heels is probably paid for.
Hi Charlie, I am just glad you are feeling strong enough to be snarky even a little bit. Hey, you are really getting better. Glad to read your post.
Somehow I'm reminded of this old joke:
Boudreaux, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a limo. She asked Boudreaux if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request.
The beautiful lady said money was no object. She was willing to pay $50,000.
Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife Clothilde, Boudreaux asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and conferred with his wife. In a few minutes he returned and told the lady he was willing to do it, however, he would have to leave his socks on so he would have some place to wipe his brushes.
Your comments are brilliant. Are the blogs worthy of you?
They are clear, pithy and funny.
I had just discovered you and then you got all tentative on me, but from the contents of this post, you're BACK! I look forward to more chuckles and smiles, and it's lovely to have your sense of humor to guide me.
Ha! Very glad to see you returned with steam up. While you were gone, I was encouraged to join your mob, and now sit here with a great smile and a flat comment.
I'm so glad to have you back here, next weird tomato I grow, I'll send to you...so your private business doesn't end up on YouTube. ;)
Well Blogger hiccuped recently so a bunch of my usual brilliant and witty comments were lost forever in the ether. So it's probably good that I don't dole out sensitive financial advice.
(... although I think my warning comment about the asteroid heading to earth might have fallen amongst the missing. Oh well.)
Kim, Kim, he's definitely not dead!!! Oh Charlie, me 'eart and its cockles are warmer than the temps up here (and they are hellish), to read you in such good form.
That tomato is great, even if a tad on the wee side.
Charlie Dearest,
The UPS gang eagerly awaits verification that you still live. I tried to tell them, but they don't believe me much after that whole Marsian Unicorn fiasco. I swear, I thought it was real. Anyway, I'm glad you're kicking.
fay
You give good comment, Charlie, always have. Good to see that the nurses didn't beat that out of you.
In the early years my husband would sometimes leave his socks till last when getting undressed at night, I still wonder if that was his version of 'I have a headache'!
Prof. Worm, you are a delight.
Pearl
Back in fine form, I see! xoxo
You win the commenting award, in my opinion. Your comments are always awesome.
You're the best commenter I have. Why do you think I miss you so much when you go away?
Hi Charile,
It's so good it have you back. I read the post previous to this one and I must say now you know who much we all love you;0) And I am glad you aren't finished yet! Totally wait on living your life with bed pans in it. Also I liked this post. Awesome first post back. I really missed you!
Hugs my bloggyville friend,
Amanda
Hi, I thought you did well. I did this too. Well done.
These are great. Sometimes I leave great comments. Sometimes I leave lame ones. Sometimes I leave none at all.
This one is probably one of the lame ones! Sorry.
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